HDB improvement program - for home owners

These are some tips based on our experience:

1. If you're very particular about quality and aesthetics of things, watch the progress like a hawk. This is especially on first few days and the last few days. First few days are to establish the ground work, where and which to hack. And last few days are the finishing. Especially at the finishing part, it progresses super fast! If you have patterned tile or wall, catch the tiler before he starts to tell him where and how you want the pattern to be. Most importantly, when they are installing the accessories, be there and supervise. Paiseh aside, you're the one who will live in it. It's unbelievable. One household got its shower head installed on top of the wash basin. So unless you're quirky enough, be the naggy Aunty there.

2. Be very clear of what can and what cannot. To use own toilet, wash basin, and tiles, there are extra charge for... Labour. We couldn't see the logic in it, but indeed it's official. If you supply your own material, you will need to pay for the labour ON TOP of the full fee. It got something to do about claiming the subsidy from HDB. For PRs, who receive no subsidy anyway, it really defies logic. But well, a rule is a rule.

3. Talk talk talk to neighbors! You wouldn't believe how much information you can get through this avenue. The construction supervisors quality and policy varies. If one allows raised platform in the toilet, the other may not. Take a pic of those can, and insist (Hey, you'll use it minimum twice a day. Make sure you're happy with it). Mind you, they'll only allow  reverting back to original structure. No change is allowed. Well, considering the sheer quantity that they need to churn out, understandable.

4. Relax, don't get worked out. Seems like the contract bidding is aimed to get an expensive but fast builders. So the MO will be that they'll just do it, they'll not wait for you. If you're not happy with it, they'll just redo the whole thing. Redoing things are not unusual. So don't hesitate. If you're like me, not keen on redoing over and over again (oh yes that's real), take note of point number 1.

5. Everyday you will meet different people. Even the supervisor is not dedicated to your unit (supposedly yes, but well... ). Arguments, disputes, quality of work varies. When you discuss with one, be sure to remember the name. Best, always go through the office as your point of contact.

So to end it, am I happy with the whole thing? Well, it's surely done fast. My bathroom walls are very slightly curved (it was so grossly bent, but we requested redoing). Lucky for us that our finishing plumber is good. He's neat, considerate and very patient. For the material supplied, I think they fall on the average quality wise. So we're prepared to change in a few years time.

All the best!

Pokemon go family fun

Despite all thou highly righteous warnings that Pokemon Go is dangerous and highly addictive, our family is giving it a spin.

Of course, Mommy is worry at the beginning. Anyway exam is coming soon. But after a week, I'm more glad than others. The game is simple enough to be enjoyed by the young and young-at-heart alike. It caters for both serious and casual gamer. Having this simple activity pushing us to have looong walks, our family bonds are stronger than ever. We helps each other, laugh together, and most importantly we can talk to our children as equal. Having this commonality helps to reach out to them, it relaxes them enough to open up to us on important matters. This is something so special because we get to see the children as they are. How they think, how they interact with peers, how competitive they are, how they utilize resources, ...

Not that we don't have all those above prior to Pokemon Go craze. I'm writing this to share that the game does have a positive impact for us. Not all troubles and risks.

Addictive? Sure it's possible. But hey, Facebook and WhatsApp are addictive too. Many have spent aimless hours posting and chatting and e-stalking people. Instead, take this opportunity to teach the children that yes we know the game is fun, but we should exert self-control.

Stay positive. In this era, if we take all the nay says, life wouldn't be much fun.

A wise friend shared with me before:

As a human, don't blame others. Instead, do self control and self check. To improve, instead of competing with others, always try to outdo one's own capability.

Theory on Human Second Birth

We have a pre-teen at home 😔😄😰😱😖😍😳😤😡🙄

That's some emo, just to represent our emotional roller coaster. And, ladies and gentlemen, our first pre-teen is a girl!

I am not credible yet to comment on pre-teen boys. But most mommies I chatted with agree that girls tend to be... Bitchy. Sad but true.

Surrounding the hormones overloads are the constant bickering, self-centered self-pity emotion analysis, and plenty of picking on others (main focus will be boys and siblings). Not to mention the neurotic thought and gasp and moan, everything seems like a big problem of life and death situation.

That sparks a theory to me. Anyone with an itch to explore on it scientifically, please feel free as long as you let me know if what's the outcome.

Ok, my theory is that every human has a second birth.

The first birth is after 40 weeks of conception, this is the physical birth.

The second birth is after 20 or so years old. This is the mental and emotional birth.

So during childhood and teenage-hood, one's personality is being formed. Mainly. Of course after that things are still progressing, but more or less this period is the definitive formation period.

Parenting wise, as much as we have a responsibility during the pregnancy, parents also have unique opportunity and obligation to shape the children characters. To me, it should be aimed for contribution to society and the independent fulfillment of self actualization needs.

Well... Please take it with a pinch of salt. It is a jolly rambling of a mother who is currently so enjoying her motherhood. All the best to parents out there... Enjoy the ride while you can. 

[Good enrichment] Yongin Taekwondo

If I have to choose between a good enrichment center and a good coach or tutor, intuitively I will lean toward a person.

A good enrichment center may have good materials, good teachers (coaches or tutors), or both. It will surely start at one of the first two and should strive to have the third.

I have an earlier post on Hankuk Taekwondo. Until now, it is still of the better one I believe. But it no longer suits our schedule and preference hence I was on the hunt for another alternative.

And by sheer luck, we found Yongin Taekwondo in Ang Mo Kio Jubilee (http://www.yongintkd.com.sg).

Why luck? Because the owner-principal-coach is none other than our first coach! He was the one who introduced us to the values and disciplines of practicing taekwondo.

So on the first lesson, it really cheered me up to see that he is still infusing the same values. Respect, patience, focus, keeping neat and clean... (these are not Taekwondo tenets per se, but those important to me 😎).

Fee is comparable with other school, maybe so so slightly more expensive but with more flexibility. For primary school kids that need to work out around school workload, it's good. 

Oh yeah! We're so looking forward to see our son's progress in this one.

HDB Home Improvement Program - Stay in!

Recently, quite a number of HDB Home Improvement Program (HIP) cases are scheduled to change waste pipe and toilet upgrading, mainly in old estate.

Today is day 10 for our family. It's supposedly the end 😀

Next post will be dedicated for home owners, what to do. This post alone will be for parents. 

Firstly, what is involved? The program is a mass renovation of waste pipe (compulsory) and toilets/shower (optional). Lead time per flat is about 10 working-days (inclusive Saturdays). It's done in mass production style, so per HDB block, roughly about 2 months (depending on number of units).

During the 2 months, expect:

* hacking noise

* dust (comes with above)

* lift breakdown and jam (as a result of carrying pails of cement and the non-stop activity of the construction)

During the 10 days, expect dysfunctional kitchen, toilet/shower, and washing machine.

Sounds scary, right?

Before starting, there's about 6 months to a year involving voting, inspection, options, ... During this time, we prepared mentally, looking around for other living option and other alternative arrangements (laundromat, count no of uniforms necessary, ...).

During those time, we also considered:

* bunking in with friends or relatives

* economical hotel (something from 100+ per night)

* Airbnb apartment rental

However, by God's grace, something downed on me a few weeks before the renovation starts. We are having a pre-teen in the house. By law of nature, she complains A LOT. So I had an idea of staying in during the whole chaos to let them see and experience the discomfort. Cruel Mommy, right? Well, tens of other families with no other option did it. So I thought, should be do-able.

Now, after completion (sort of), I am really glad that we did it. We've grown closer and the kids perspective of life have opened up. They're more willing to accept less than ideal condition, and the experience has provided the much needed nudge towards gratitude for 'given' comfort.

If you're game, below are some tips:

1. Prepare everyone mentally. Mine happened right bang in the middle of exam time. So I've told them to revise earlier. With all the noise, concentration will be reduced.

2. We isolated two rooms. One for study, pantry (microwave inside), and dining. And another one for sleeping. Everyone wears slippers at home, with mats in front of the room. Before climbing into bed, use wet wipes to wipe off feet (of course, we also use the portaloo to wash feet, but the amount of dust is to-experience-to-believe).

3. Blocked entrance to these two rooms as much as possible by painter plastic sheets. It is a challenge to tape it to both ceiling and floors. But be patient and you're saving yourself lots of work, and protecting your furnitures too. Tips: tape both sides (in and out) at each top and bottom side. For top, at some interval, strengthen by having a perpendicular tape instead of parallel to the side.

4. Bring out all the unnecessary stuff from inside the two rooms. You'll appreciate the space. Mine, other than bed, I keep in only: land line, all children school books, enough clothes towels bedsheets for two weeks, medicines, first aid box, iPad and PC. We also moved the fridge to a good lesser-dust 

-exposure area.

5. Other than wet wipes, prepare disposable cups plates fork spoon straws, mineral waters (don't forget the 500-600ml ones for the kids to bring to school), cup noodles, vitamins, milk, snacks.

6. One consolation for my kids was the constant eat out/food delivery. So Mommy, get ready to keep your fingers crossed for the amount of MSG. 😝

7. In each unit, there'll be one portaloo (portable toilet) installed. But beware, contrary to the claim, there's no hot water. And, the water supply is small. So to keep it not smelly, prepare to have some wet area around it. Why? Use buckets and scoop to flush. Oh, and we also only used it for emergency wee in the evenings. When it just arrived, I wiped everything with bleach. On the second day, the worker steps on it everywhere (they need to do something). Oh well... A matter of adjusting expectation.

8. Kitchen sink can still be used for brushing teeth and washing face. I was even tempted to wash my hair there but in the end used the downstairs temporary toilet/shower all the way.

9. Be prepared to q to use the common temporary toilets/shower. See the positive side, all my neighbors commented that we've grown closer too.

10. Always try to see the funny side no matter what and be amazed at how adaptable human beings are.

All the best! 👍🏻

Worst Parenting Mistake

This post is a note to yours truly of the worst parenting mistake possible. Which is... *drum rolls* to believe that your child do no wrong.

Mind you, very little parents never scold their children. This is not what I mean.

But, how many parents you know that always side with their own children when something happen. I do trust my own children, will back them up when situation arises. But the crime lies in the frequency, ALWAYS.

This includes when they're telling stories of what happens in school. Especially with young children, please please please always take it with a great dollop of salt. Below are a few familiar complain from a primary kid:

* He laughs at me when I get bad marks.

It's normal to express joy when one get a higher mark. Laughing at is a very very different case. I know some kids are truly mean. But please... If you achieve something and you managed to stay stone-faced, you may cast the first stone.

* She always cut queue

* He never help me

Indeed there are some kids that have no respect for order. But the word 'always' and 'never' are very strong, yet have been very frequently used by primary schoolers in Singapore (I have no experience with secondary schoolers, yet).

* She snatched my book

Children are naturally impatient. They always want to get what the want... Fast. To me, I set 'snatching' as forcefully taking an object against the current holder will. For children, mind you, taking things (especially test paper) itself is frequently termed 'snatching'.

Always bear in mind that children have limited vocabulary, and their subjectivity is very very high. Listen to their story, and explain the other possible point of views.

So what it got to do with the worst parenting mistake?

With all the distorted fact above, likely one child will complain about friends after friends after friends. When the parents agree with the child? Right! The child may eventually ended up with no friends, and also a very negative emotionally.

So there... Prepare your bucket of salt. Treat other children kindly. They are the jems of their parents' eyes too.