Secret of happiness #5: Look up, look down, look sideways

After previous posting, I decided to finish this unfinished business. 

This post was first initiated in October 2013. So you see how it's been sitting there, waiting for me.

In my childhood, my parents brought me up in always looking up. No matter what grades you got, bound to have other kids that's better. Don't be complacent. Try to reach for the stars, and all...

In my dearly departed Daddy's final days, he humbly stressed out the points of looking downwards. Not in belittling-people-sense, but to be thankful. To feel fortunate that we're enjoying little comforts that others are not so lucky enough. Hence the second point. Look down, be thankful.

I'm a big 'circle' fan. I believe, everything will come to a circle. Without feedback path, a system cannot be stable (engineers out there, sure you'll agree with me).

So we already have up, and down. What else to make a circle? The sides!

What to do with the sides? Look sideways, to make sure that in reaching up for the stars, in being thankful, you are not forgetting those around you. Make sure your dream has a good purpose too for those you love. Because, what's the point of success if your loves one suffers along the way, right?

So there... A little thing that I've started living by. Look up, look down, look sideways. Reach for the star, be thankful, make sure it is aligned with your beloved's need.

Secret of happiness #4: Do something useful

I suffered from a psychological tendency that have yet to be discovered, I think. 

Many times, I caught my self in a precarious juggling act, so tight that I couldn't breath. Somehow, if I don't load myself up to a point where I break up in hives, my brain keeps on searching for more... Tick... Tock... I got 30s between lesson and bus arrival... What to do???

But that's entirely my own doing. I am blessed with a supportive loving hubby, and two kids that knows what they are doing. Not much problem caring for them.

Even being slightly 'abnormal', am truly happy.

So last Sunday, after a cup of coffee to shoo the bed calling away, I managed to scrapbook, plastic wrap the children books, paid bills, helped my children Chinese homework (when you don't speak don't read Chinese, this is an adventure on its own, worthy of another posting), ... I went to bed worn out but contended.

I think, when we're doing something useful, we feel worthy and satisfied. And, that pile of unfinished business is thinning down. Less pressure on us. Happy!

A step forward, try doing something do others... Ooo... The joy to see their smile...

Secret of happiness #3: Learn something new

My first pregnancy ended up in a miscarriage at 19 weeks. 

At that time, I have loved our baby so much. The loss is torturing. For a few days at least, I was still pregnant in my dream. Only to woke up realizing that it wasn't the case in real.

Of course, being a slight control freak, the obsession of trying out for another one kicked in soon after.

Then, I was unhappy. Frustrated in trying for a new one, while still mourning the loss of one just passed.

Thankfully I read somewhere (sincere sorry that the kind soul couldn't be credited here, am forever grateful for his/her wisdom)... That learning something new can make you happy.

Of course, bound to have tons of scientific analysis of why that is so. Or, if it's scientifically unproven. But I do know one thing, that it really works for me. True. 

I threw myself into books of interesting thing. Paper quilling, handwriting character recognition, flower arrangement... just to name a few. 

When the mind is occupied, time goes faster. With curiosity triggered by new information, the world has become more exciting. New skill, new knowledge, brings up the sense of accomplishment, opening up new possibilities. 

Until now, I do still constantly on the look out of something new to learn. It could be just nuggets of new info everyday, it still does count. Before dementia kicks in... Let a excercise those grey cells. And be happy along the way. 

Kiasu Mom Tips to Enjoy RWS Adventure Cove

We've been members of Sentosa Adventure Cove for almost a year. Below are some tips:

1. They open at 10.00 AM. Be there early. By just doing this, you'll get to enjoy all the rides by noon, and can take time to laze around at the river, or enjoy the wave after lunch. Otherwise, queue for each ride may take up to 45mins. Imagine this: standing in line, under scorching sun, wind blowing your wet swimsuit. Hope that is strong enough to wake you up early.

2. Aim for one of the free cabana near the children's pool. In case it drizzles or rains, your belongings and you are safe there. Thankfully and somewhat errr... The management takes safety seriously. When it rains, all rides ceased operation.

3. Sunblock is a must!

4. If we want to snorkel, this is the first target. Hygiene reason, we, might be gullibly, believe that they are relatively cleaner in the morning.

5. Some people might've missed this. There are at least TWO sizes of tyre floats there. Somehow no one thought of labeling the size on it. You have to estimate, whether it's the smaller size for kids, or the bigger ones. 

6. Food... Below expectation. I saw many visitors bring at least snack. If you start at 10, survive on snack until about 2, then go out to nearby RWS eateries or to vivo. Your tastebuds will be thankful. 

7. If you take public transport (taxi, train, ...) Do not exit after, say, 4 pm? You'll have to spend time queuing again. After 4, take a good break, walk to through the bridge. It's more pleasant.

8. If your kids are crazy about playing in the pool like mine, it will be worthed to be a member. Three visits will cover the membership fee.

Will add more tips if something crossed my mind in the future. Or, do you have one to share?

Secret of happiness #2: Forgive and forget

Intermezzo, hubby and I are great fans of NCIS. Go Jethro Gibbs! (Hehe... If hubby read this, he'll profusely deny it. Whatever's....)

What it got to do with secret of happiness?

The Mighty Gibbs has a set of rules on which he lives by. Following these rules, he is happier, and most likely will stay in the path that he chose to stick on.

As born Catholics, of course we do believe in following The Bible truthfully. Read a good quote the other day. "In school, the bible is discouraged. In prison, it is encouraged. If it is encouraged in school the first place, the student wouldn't be in prison anyway." The Bible really provided a comprehensive guidance on how to live life contentedly.

But, my over-active brain still needs an outlet. Hence, my very own set of secret of happiness. :)

So, number two is... To forgive and forget.

Thou shall not live your life dwelling in grievances. What is past is past. As there is no use to worry about tomorrow, ditto with regretting the past.

A very important aspect that people often forget is to forgive and forget our own mistakes. Do damage control, and carry on.

I saw, see, and very sure am going to see that naturally, we're most unforgiving to the people closest to us. Somehow it is very natural for people to expect our beloved a to share our brain, heart, and soul. No, they are not... We're each a unique human being. Every one of us. So let go... Give them some room of mistakes and mishaps. 

Educated in convent schools, I was drilled on the meaning of repentance. It is not only to regret one's mistake, but also to be willing to improve, to be better.

So ganbatteru! Jia you!

Secret of happiness #1: Love Thyself

HI read somewhere a few weeks ago that for working moms, firstly we're a mother. We shall not forget this. Career shall come only next to it. 

Partially agree. I do a firm believer that there's no such thing as part time mom, and that children deserve us at out best. Not the leftover.

BUT, after 8 years of mommying, I know that first of all, a mom should be well cared. Self-cared that is. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Only then a mother can be at her best.

I used to be overly guilty of spending an evening off with friends or dating with hubby.

But had enough years of that.

A nice smelling lotion, long shower, chocolates, a good read, many ways to steal time to enjoy. To stop by smelling the roses. A few seconds living life to the fullest, thanking Him that all are well.

After we took care of the me-time and hubby-time, general vibe around the house is much better. I'm fresh around the kids, and genuinely there for them. Their grievances, mischief, and all.

And oh... Socializing in the office is not counted. 

Some may say a stay at home mom is having it harder to steal time for herself. Half-full or half-empty, it's our choice!

P.S. I am in no way regarding myself as self-help guru or whatsnot. These postings are meant as a reminder for my humble self at the very least.