Secret of happiness #1: Love Thyself

HI read somewhere a few weeks ago that for working moms, firstly we're a mother. We shall not forget this. Career shall come only next to it. 

Partially agree. I do a firm believer that there's no such thing as part time mom, and that children deserve us at out best. Not the leftover.

BUT, after 8 years of mommying, I know that first of all, a mom should be well cared. Self-cared that is. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Only then a mother can be at her best.

I used to be overly guilty of spending an evening off with friends or dating with hubby.

But had enough years of that.

A nice smelling lotion, long shower, chocolates, a good read, many ways to steal time to enjoy. To stop by smelling the roses. A few seconds living life to the fullest, thanking Him that all are well.

After we took care of the me-time and hubby-time, general vibe around the house is much better. I'm fresh around the kids, and genuinely there for them. Their grievances, mischief, and all.

And oh... Socializing in the office is not counted. 

Some may say a stay at home mom is having it harder to steal time for herself. Half-full or half-empty, it's our choice!

P.S. I am in no way regarding myself as self-help guru or whatsnot. These postings are meant as a reminder for my humble self at the very least.

Public Caning

Just walked dear daughter to school. 

On the way, she mentioned casually that one of her classmate will have 'public caning' today. 

Thankfully she still said the word as something very big. 

So far, all 'privileged' for such treatment were boys. Not that it is impossible to happen to girls. 

It sadden my heart, to imagine 7-8 years old boys to be punished publicly like that. 

Even a heavier burden is that afterwards, they will still do their mischiefs, based on track record. That is, the humiliation will not be fruitful. But I do wonder whether it will scar their childhood experience. 

Is it the school problem?

I'd say, it's parenting problem. Parents should tune their children's intuition. What is expected from them, what are the consequences. It's our duty to save them from society's wrath. 

To take a leaf from my in laws book,

Children are like bamboo. 

Easier to shape when they are young.

A privilege to know Heather Von St. James

My dear hubby is a fan of ... I don't know what it's called... If you know, please let me know correct term of such movie: Many lives are in danger; alien, natural disaster, zombies, doomsday, sinking ships, ....

Anyway... After how-manieth time I watched it, I learned a lesson that I force my family to remember.

Most of the time, main reason why survivors made it to the finish line is the... Determination. Be positive, focus, don't EVER think of giving up. The will really makes a way... To survive.

In real life, it's not that simple. But really... Please don't give up. 

I am honored to share a story of a real life survivor.

This amazing lady is Heather Von St. James.

Though practically I've only know her for less than an hour (that's all it takes for the strong urge to overwhelm... Go and share the story... Go...), I think we really have a lot to learn, facts and wisdom, from her.

She was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer, mesothelioma. This cancer caused abnormality in mesothelium, a layer that protects many internal organs.

As a sneak preview of the good stuff, here is a message from her:

 I am 44 and a mother to a quirky 7 year old, Lily. She is my only child, and was just 3.5 months old when our lives were turned upside down. I was diagnosed with mesothelioma; a type of cancer that sadly kills 90 – 95% of people who have it.

After an intense treatment and recovery journey, I am happy to say I am cancer free 7 years later! My experience was a difficult one to say the least – but I’d like to turn my pain in to purpose and become someone that other people can look to for guidance, inspiration, and hope in situations like my own.

Lessons start here:

http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather

Please go and see how positive, strong, and kind she is. How supportive family can make a difference. And how resilient human is. 

I am not sure on how the action all started, but it is very heartwarming to see how many people come together with common aim of helping one another, helping others.

You can also learn some facts that might've saved your life, your love ones. 

By the way, do you feel it?

...

Have you now?

...

Are you also feeling something is pulling your heart to share her story and her purpose?

Go and share... Don't be shy... It's not only her fight, it's our fight. 

Thank you, Heather, for showing us a good way to live. Thanks to all supporters of Heather too. Hope many will follow your footsteps. 

Why people play games

Last week, we went to swim.

I had one goal in mind, build their confidence.

You see, they know how to swim. But, we did such a great job making them understand of water danger. They're so scared of drowning (or maybe this is an inherited instinct from my dear hubby). 

Anyhow, so I stood in the pool, and they swam to and fro the edge of the pool. 

Slowly I increased the distance.

After a while it turned into a game. We took some landmark such as tree, poster, lifeguard tower, as target to meet. 

They had fun! To set their target and to meet it is such a great feeling.

I met my goal, the kids had fun. Ahhh... Bliss...

Come to think of it, I think people inherently like to perform. Game provided a no-pressure opportunity to challenge one-self, and to exceed the set target.

How about using it in parenting? Encouraging the kids to to better?

Children deserves you at your best... Not the leftovers

I read that looonggg time ago. Thank you to whomever wrote it in a blog (only remember that it was a blog). Sincere apology that I can't give the credit when it dues.

However, the simple sentence gave such a strong good slap.

For so long, I am not at my best. Tired from work, other family/friends commitment. I might be around them, but not 100%. 

So this post is meant to pass it on... And a reminder for me in the future. 

Children deserves us at our best, not the leftover. 

[Good ... ] Swimming Coach

I am writing this after so many edits.

Being a born worrier, it came across my mind that some may think I am getting paid or related to any of the recommendation here. 

As much as I'd love to, no, no compensation for writing any of the post here.

It is just my way of supporting good people, good brand. Win win, isn't it? More mommies get to know good stuff, companies/persons can continue improving, serving good quality.

Ok, this time, I'd like to be thankful for getting a good swimming coach. My daughter was in his care from about 3 years old, and my son started at about 4 years old.

[+]

He is frank, GOOD with kids. They will be having fun while kids do respect him. How this can happen, I believe it is talent. 

Very patient. Has a good teaching pace and technique varieties. 

[-]

Being very patient, result is really up to the child. It can be realllyyy slowww (my son). But he is exceptional. His peers took off swimming without float after less than 6 months

Journey of a thousand mile begins with one step

Wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, employee, supervisor, referee, employer, seamstress, nurse, neighbor, crafter, cook, baker, ...

Those are hats that I put on when the need arises (I got some optional hats there, just because I love to torture myself, squeezing every last drop of energy)

At the moment, here are my todo list:

1. Important presentation in the office (at least important to me, for me :p)

2. Daughter 8th bday to plan (cake, goody bag, coordination)... It's coming in less than two week!!!

3. Son 6th bday to plan (Jan '14, but remember, I like to torture myself. So I am having vision of a pirate party at his kindergarten. His last bday there before primary school in '15)

4. Thousands of photos to screen and scrapbook (from 2011). Some need to be done by August because of my impulsive purchase of a photobook vouchers

5. Big relative visit beginning of August (house will contain about 15pax, a good three times of our current size. God knows how our meager 2 bathrooms can cope with this)

6. Family trips to plan

7. Teachers' Day gift to made

...

And... Of course, what a journey without unexpected hurdles along the way. The haze is coming and going (mystical air purifier is still on the wanted list on our house), the children are growing (yielding different needs each and every day. Soon we'll need to split their room I guess), school projects (seems like parents must  have unlimited 24hrs supply shop and being energizer bunnies) and ... some occasional illnesses dropping by.

All in all, I am still very much grateful of what He has granted. Each and every blessing and trial is His plan, I believe.

So, to sooth myself (and my tummy, since it seems I do snack more when I'm stressed), I keep on reminding myself, a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step... One step at a time...